1. Don't do it in public. A public place is never the right setting to do this. Most likely, your friend walking the road of infertility will cry when you tell her the news. Do it in a setting where she feels the freedom to cry.
2. Save your big, exciting, creative reveals for all your other friends. This is not the time to make a big, surprising announcement. Text her. Call her. Go over to her house and sit on the couch. Take a walk. A low key setting will take the pressure off of her.
3. If she cries, know that she is not crying because you are pregnant. She is crying because she feels loss deep inside her soul that is so hard to understand. Have you ever heard the saying that something is bittersweet? Well, this is what it feels like every time this news is shared. Bitter for the pain of loss we feel, but sweet excitement for new life.
4. Don't shy away from this conversation. We are all adults. Yes, it is a hard conversation to have. But, you have to put on your big girl panties and tell her. It will be WAY worse for her to find out from someone else. No matter how awkward you feel, that is not an acceptable excuse to hide behind. Have the conversation and do it with love. Even if it doesn't go well at the time, you will never regret telling her.
5. A heads up is so good for the heart. I know for me, I so appreciate the friends who have let me know ahead of time that they were going to start trying. I get that surprises happen. But the ones that have been the hardest for me are the ones I didn't see coming. Again, for everyone else you can make it a big surprise. But give your friend that is struggling some time to warm up to the idea because catching her off guard is so much harder.
I also reached out to some friends who have walked this road or are currently walking it to see what tips they had to share.